Admitting you need help for an eating disorder is the hardest, yet most important, step in your recovery process. When you can admit you need help, you can finally start to heal.
Eating disorder vs. disordered eating
What’s the difference between eating disorders and disordered eating?
Disordered eating is the behavior a person displays around food and eating. It isn’t one specific thing. It involves abnormal eating behaviors.
Some examples of disordered eating are:
- Feeling out of control with food when eating
- Extreme rigidity around healthy eating and eating rituals
- Feelings of guilt and/or shame after eating
- Purging after eating by restricting food later, fasting, vomiting, laxatives, and/or over-exercising
An eating disorder is a set of symptoms/criteria specified by the American Psychiatric Association. Eating disorders are characterized by serious eating behavior disturbances.
Hitting rock bottom
Unfortunately, in most cases, people don’t seek help until they’ve hit rock bottom.
For me, it was when I reached 312lbs. I knew I needed help and could no longer do it on my own when I was sitting in a clinic waiting to hear if I had cancer caused by my morbid obesity.
I met a teenager recently at my job who told me that she wanted to talk about her eating disorder. She was desperately seeking help on what to do.
I told her I was proud of her for admitting she needed help and that asking for help was the hardest step.
I then told her I understood what she was going through and that I have binge eating disorder.
She looked surprised, I’m assuming because she didn’t expect me to tell her something so personal. It’s not surprising by my body size that I have a problem with food. I’m actually ok with that now because I’m working on recovery and I know I won’t be like this forever.
I’m learning to love myself and my body. It’s a slow process, but it feels really good to feel the self-hatred and disgust start to slip away. It’s not the first thought in my head when I look in the mirror anymore. (If I’m being totally honest, my first thought is usually how my gray hair is increasing exponentially, but that’s a story for another time…)
Related: Improve Your Body Image and Mental Health: Take the Challenge
What causes eating disorders?
Usually, there’s an outside factor at play when people develop eating disorders. Here are some of the causes:
Environmental
Constantly being bombarded with “perfect” bodies on TV, in magazines, movies, etc. makes us play the comparison game.
We may not intentionally compare ourselves to celebrities and others in our lives, but it’s natural to do it. We can work toward distancing ourselves from comparisons. Some people are lucky and don’t care what others think of them.
Genetics
Genetics can have good and bad sides to them. Unfortunately, we have no control over our genes.
If you have siblings or parents with an eating disorder, research has shown you could be at higher risk of developing one.
Mental and emotional health
Low self-esteem brought on by toxic relationships, perfectionism, or other emotional issues can make you more prone to an eating disorder.
Mental health and eating disorders
Mental health and eating disorders go hand-in-hand. Although eating disorders are mental health disorders themselves, many times other mental health problems want to get in on the action.
The most common are depression, anxiety, substance abuse disorder, borderline personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Help for an eating disorder or disordered eating
Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that you can’t beat this thing on your own, it’s time to get help.
But where do you turn? Family or friends are usually the first choice. They know you best and can be very supportive.
However, there’s nowhere that says you have to tell your loved ones. Some people don’t understand eating disorders and think the behavior can be controlled if you try hard enough. Others think it’s for attention.
If you’re scared to tell your family or friends, I strongly urge you to tell a medical professional, whether it’s your primary physician, nurse, psychiatrist, therapist, or anyone else that has the ability to help you or get you to someone who can help.
Miracles
Since facing my eating disorder, I have witnessed several events that can only be described as miracles in my journey to recovery. Most of them happen shortly after praying/pleading for the food cravings to be taken away.
When I pause and pray for a reprieve from the hell of food addiction and food thoughts, and I get that reprieve, it’s incredible and like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
Miracles don’t have to be show-stopping like parting the sea, they can be small little things that happen every day.
One specific miracle I had last week happened in my kitchen. I didn’t consciously ask for a reprieve, but I got it while I was walking toward the pantry, about to start searching for sugar for a “small” binge. (Is there such a thing?)
Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming force inside me that stopped me from walking any further. I then turned away from the pantry and the words “Have sparkling water instead” popped into my head.
I was so surprised at the intervention just when I needed it, that I listened, and did what I was told. The craving left me for the rest of the day.
I can’t explain where it came from other than I was given a miracle, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
Tools of recovery
There are many tools you can use, but here are the ones that I use and have found helpful:
- Writing and journaling your feelings
- Talking to someone about how you’re feeling- whether it be a family member, friend, therapist, or whoever you trust to help you through the tough times
- Eating disorder recovery podcasts have helped me a TON! My favorite is The Recovery Warrior Show
- Getting outside into nature and out of your head can really help, especially because it gets you away from your kitchen!
Final thoughts
When you’ve had enough of beating yourself up over your food behaviors and feelings and you’re ready to get help, there are a lot of places to turn, including your loved ones.
Tell someone you trust that you need help, or consider one of the resources below.
Admitting you need help is the first and most important step toward getting out of eating disorder hell.
Eating disorder resources:
National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
If you think you or someone close to you may have an eating disorder, NEDA is the place to start.
- For 24/7 Crisis Support text NEDA to 741-741
- Helpline 1-800-931-2237 and Live Chat are available Monday – Thursday from 9:00 am – 9:00 pm (EST) and Friday from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm (EST) Closed holidays.
- Forums– There are several forums for people suffering from eating disorders working toward recovery, in recovery, and for family and friends of sufferers. Take a look at the forum community guidelines first, there are certain subjects/triggers that are prohibited from being talked about in the forums.
- Email: [email protected]
Overeaters Anonymous (OA)
Overeaters Anonymous is an organization for compulsive overeaters, binge eaters, bulimics, anorexics and/or anyone who believes they have an unhealthy relationship with food.
- The program is based on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and focuses on dealing with compulsive overeating and eating disorders and working the steps to recovery.
- An in-depth overview of the program is here.
- Meetings have multiple formats such as face-to-face, phone, online, and non-real time.
- All are welcome, no registration is required.
Eating Disorder Hope
Eating Disorder Hope is a website dedicated to spreading information and resources to anyone who suffers from an eating disorder. The resources are for family members too.
A link to their contact form is here.
DrugRehab.com
DrugRehab.com is not just for drug and alcohol addiction. They have resources for eating disorders too.
Their guide details the different eating disorders by category. It also discusses how mental health disorders and addiction (including food addiction) can and do frequently occur alongside eating disorders.
Access the in-depth eating disorders guide here.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health expert. If you have concerns about your health, either mental or physical, please contact your doctor or medical provider.
Read Next:
- Eating Disorders: Everything You Need To Know
- The 5 Best FREE Apps For Eating Disorder Recovery
- The 7 Best Eating Disorder Recovery Podcasts
- 19 Alternatives to Eating (When You’re Not Hungry But REALLY Want To Eat!)
- 11 Tips for Compulsive Overeaters
- How To Deal With Food Addiction Relapse
- 36 Extraordinary Quotes For Eating Disorder Recovery
- What Is Your Reason For Recovery?
- How To Develop A Food Plan You Can Live With