To be successful, you have to have a reason for recovery. One shining beacon of light that will get you through all of the tears, slips, struggles, and hardships, because this journey isn’t easy. It’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.
To recover, you have to be willing to put in the work, and, most importantly, you have to want to recover.
For something as important as recovery from an eating disorder, you have to first admit you have a problem.
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Kick perfectionism out of your life!
Everyone has a fear of failure. (If you don’t, please tell me your secret!)
The thing with eating disorders is that they can kill you if left untreated. Getting help doesn’t mean you have to be perfect while working toward recovery.
Perfectionism has no place in eating disorder recovery. You have to face the facts that you’re most likely going to have slips along the way- whether it’s purging, bingeing, restricting, overexercising, or something else.
Why having a reason for recovery is so important
Recovering from an eating disorder is an uphill battle, which is why having a reason for recovery is so important. It’ll keep you going when it feels like you don’t have any energy left for the fight.
Slips are common. I have yet to hear of anyone who immediately recovered from their eating disorder and never had any disordered eating behaviors ever again.
I recently heard the following about relapse that I thought was funny and totally accurate in how we self-sabotage:
Giving up on recovery is like having a flat tire, saying, “Oh forget it, I can’t fix it!” and then slash the other 3 tires.
Recovery Warrior podcast
Helpful tip: Don’t slash your other 3 tires.
Some examples of lies my eating disorder tells me
Having an eating disorder is exhausting. It’s on your mind day in and day out, always there whispering lies to you.
Some of the lies I am told pretty much every day by my eating disorder are:
“Go ahead and eat one more bite, it’s fine. You know you want it.”
“You’ll feel so much better if you eat that.”
“You feel horrible right now and this will take the edge off.”
Eating disorders take on their own personalities. It’s like that “friend” that was a bad influence on you in childhood, always telling you to do stuff that you know you shouldn’t do.
Tools to cope
To fix something, you need tools, right?
A hammer that just lays on the ground is no good to anyone unless it’s picked up and used in the way a hammer is meant to be used.
It’s the same with recovery tools. If you don’t use them, what good are they?
The following are the tools I use the most.
Journaling
I have aspirations to journal daily, but time just doesn’t always allow it. And you know what? I’m good with that.
See how I’m not allowing perfectionism to creep in there? However, if it does show its face, that’s ok too, because being a perfectionist about not being a perfectionist is just too confusing.
Journaling is a tool that anyone and everyone with disordered eating or eating disorders should use. It has the ability to find answers and solutions to problems you might not even realize you were worried about.
Reading
I have found self-help books to be really helpful. (Imagine that!)
Three books that I’ve read recently that are incredibly uplifting, positive, and helpful (and that I would, of course, recommend) are:
#1. You Are A Badass Every Day By Jen Sincero
#2. Easier Than You Think (because life doesn’t have to be so hard) By Richard Carlson
#3. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff) By Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
Talking to humans
Talking to someone about how you’re feeling is a good way to cope when your eating disorder gets too loud.
I suppose I shouldn’t restrict the talking to only humans here. Animals or really anything can be used to talk to. Humans are (most likely) the only ones that will talk back in a way you understand.
Prayer and meditation
If you believe in prayer, it can be a helpful way to cope. You’re never alone.
Meditation frees the mind of problems and worries, even if only for a few minutes at a time. It’s relaxing and decreases stress.
My reason for recovery
My reason is simple, yet seems almost unattainable right now. I have a long road ahead of me in order to say I’m recovered, but here’s my driving force:
I want to live life to the fullest, not sit on the sidelines watching as it passes me by.
I say my reason for recovery every day, usually more than once a day. It’s finally starting to sink in and motivate me.
Most days I feel motivated to stay on my food plan and use the tools to help me recover, but obviously, I’m not perfect. Motivation alone can’t help me when the eating disorder gets loud, but if/when I’m willing to journal, read, pray, meditate, or talk to someone, it helps me get through the hard times.
Remembering that I’m not perfect and never will be is essential in moving on with my life. Slips happen to everyone.
I’m learning that even when I get angry or upset (which is what makes me want to binge the most) I can be gentle and forgiving toward myself. Having that mindset makes things so much more tolerable.
Who is your support?
Do you have at least one person in your life who you can lean on when things get tough?
Do you use that person when you need them? It’s one thing to have someone, but you need to go one step further and actually use them for help when needed.
Related: Where To Turn When You Need Help For An Eating Disorder
Final thoughts on reasons for recovery
I hope this post makes you think a little deeper about your recovery- the why and how you’re going to get there.
Do whatever it takes to find your reason for recovery.
Remember, you can change your own tire, or ask someone for help in changing it. You don’t have to slash the other three.
Don’t give up on yourself.
Read More:
- Eating Disorders: Everything You Need To Know
- Improve Your Body Image and Mental Health: Take the Challenge
- 36 Extraordinary Quotes For Eating Disorder Recovery
- The Incredible Benefits of Writing a Letter to Yourself
- Why Do You Overeat?
- 11 Tips for Compulsive Overeaters
- 18 Life-Changing Lessons Learned From My Eating Disorder
