18 Life-Changing Lessons Learned From My Eating Disorder

Can you learn life-changing lessons from an eating disorder? My answer is yes- because I have. These are 18 lessons learned from my eating disorder. (I’m positive there will be more someday soon.)

1. I have the ability to listen to hunger and fullness cues.

While my eating disorder was raging full-throttle, I rarely stopped eating long enough to feel real hunger. And feeling full? That’s something I often ignored for the better option (or so I thought) of numbing my feelings with food.

Now I’m learning to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I feel satisfied. Do I do that for every meal? Of course not- I’m far from perfect. But, I am working toward being willing to listen to my body’s cues.

2. I need to maintain a regular meal schedule.

While being a stay-at-home mom to our 1-year old, I’ve had to keep him on a timely meal and snack schedule. I know that when he gets fussy, it’s time for him to eat. (He’s usually a really happy boy!)

Well, as it turns out, when I get hungry I get fussy too- in my own way. I become short-tempered, impatient, moody, and sometimes downright angry when I’m hungry (a.k.a. hangry). I fit the model of a hungry toddler when it’s time for my next meal.

I’ve come to rely on my son’s hunger cues to stay on my own schedule of eating my meals at regular intervals, and at regular times. This helps me avoid extreme hunger, which can easily lead to a binge, overeating, or eating compulsively.

Related: How To Deal With Food Addiction Relapse

3. I can learn to eat mindfully.

Learning to eat “in the present”, I have found, is quite difficult. With my eating disorder, eating is my way of removing myself from my problems and stresses. So, learning to eat mindfully is a challenge.

To eat while consciously thinking about my food- where it came from, how it looks and smells, how it feels in my mouth, and finally how it feels as it moves into my stomach- well, that takes effort.

Having an eating disorder is exhausting, however, so is learning new ways of reaching recovery. It is so worth the work I’ve put in so far, though. I know I’m far from recovered, but each day that I take a step forward in my quest to beat this thing is a milestone.

4. Spirituality will save me from myself.

Having someone I can count on that’s greater than myself, (whom I choose to call God), is such a relief. I’m not doing this alone.

I have a support group and someone I report my food to after each and every meal, but they’re not with me all the time, and they can’t shoulder all of my burdens when I need strength for other things.

With God by my side, I can do just about anything- including kicking this eating disorder’s ass!

Hmm…maybe I shouldn’t have put “God” and “ass” in the same sentence…

5. I can let things go.

I am stubborn and tend to hold grudges…really easily. I am still harboring bad feelings toward a certain family friend from my childhood who told me to listen to my mom and not talk back when I was 5. And now I’m…well, not 5 anymore…so, yeah, to say I’m not one to let things go very easily is an understatement!

I suppose this lesson should say I can let some things go. I’m working really hard on not sweating the small stuff, but, it’s really hard!

And that brings me to…

6. Pausing before reacting is possible!

As I mentioned, I hold grudges and can be stubborn, moody, short-tempered, and “fussy”.

Wow, I have a lot of bad qualities…what was my point again- to tell you all of my character defects?

Nope.

See? If I had paused before reacting to the realization that I was listing a bunch of my not-so-delightful qualities, I’d have a lot fewer words in this post.

Point made.

Pausing before going forward with what I think is the right thing to say or do can save us all a lot of time and reading.

Movin’ on…

7. I can’t handle sugar.

I know my body can’t and probably will never be able to handle sugar like a normal eater. I’ve learned that over the past few years.

This goes right along with knowing that I can’t eat snacks or I’ll be thinking about food all the livelong day. Eating every couple of hours would not be a good thing for me.

Some people can snack, but I for sure am not one of those people.

I seem to have veered off course from no sugar to no snacks. Well, let’s put it all together and I’ll give you a surprise.

Ready?

I don’t eat sugar…

Or snacks…

Or, wait for it…

Sugary snacks!

I’ll wait until you calm down from that emotional roller coaster…

…

…

Ok, ready to move on? Great!

Related: How To Develop A Food Plan You Can Live With

8. I understand why I get mood swings and bursts of anger.

Before I quit sugar and snacking, I was in a food fog most of the time. Another word for “food fog” is “high”. Yes, you can feel a high from food. It gives a person the same feelings of euphoria as drugs and alcohol.

So, looking at it with a clear mind, it’s no wonder I was having frequent mood swings! Take away my high and I have to face my feelings and deal with life without my crutch.

Related: How To Know When You Need To Take A Mental Health Day

9. Feelings need to be felt.

I’ve learned that feelings can make life uncomfortable when you’re not constantly eating in order to cover up the uncomfortable feelings. (Got all that?)

One of the biggest times I want to reach for food is when I’m angry. Sometimes I used to pick fights with my poor, unsuspecting husband in order to become angry so that I would have an excuse to eat.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m far from perfect and I still pick fights, but it’s usually for other reasons. Like that he looked at me wrong, or he left his shoes in the middle of the freaking kitchen floor! (Is it just me that’s bothered by that?!)

Deep breaths…

Related: How To Do A Brain Dump For Mental Health

10. I’m learning to focus more on others.

I never realized just how selfish I was before facing my eating disorder, feeling my feelings, and looking at my life in a new way.

I was always in the food, laser-focused on when and what I would eat next, never really looking up to see what was going on around me.

I, of course, cared about other people but I was always distracted with my next plan of action, or how I was feeling at the time- which was usually depressed and self-loathing.

On the other hand, I am now paying attention to the world around me, but I’m also thinking about how best to take care of myself. You might say I’m still selfish, but in a different, more positive way.

Related: How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser

11. Movement is a better word than exercise!

Do I want to exercise every day?

Hell no!

Do I want to add some movement into my day?

Well, sure- that sounds like fun!

So, in summary…

Exercise=not fun. Movement=fun.

Movement can be anything I want it to be and it’s good for my body, so win-win!

Related: 5 Simple Exercises For People Who Hate Exercise

12. I’m learning to stop judging others.

I think everyone has judged another person at some point in time, myself included. However, I’m learning to notice these thoughts and let them pass.

After thinking about why I judge others, I’ve found that most of the time what I’m feeling is jealousy. If someone is wearing clothes that are too tight, I have uncovered the fact that I’m jealous because they have the body-confidence that I’m lacking.

If someone is drop-dead gorgeous, I might think about how perfect their life must be, but in reality, they have struggles too. Gorgeous people are no different than regular-looking people in that way.

What do you think if you see an overweight person running or biking?

I used to judge those people for having the audacity to be out in public exercising (once again jealousy creeping in- wishing I had the confidence), but I now find myself silently cheering them on, thinking how awesome it is that that person feels confident and determined enough to be doing something good for his or her body.

13. My self-image is changing.

I recently taped a list of body-positive affirmations to my bathroom mirror. I say them to my reflection several times each day.

I’m not gonna lie, I feel a bit of discomfort saying them out loud, but that’s where I’m judging myself again. I’m in the beginning stages of transforming my self-image, and I’m starting to believe some of the affirmations.

I have a long road ahead of me in believing that I love every inch of my body, but I’m hopeful that someday in the not-so-distant future I will say it to my reflection, mean it, and believe it.

Related: Improve Your Body Image and Mental Health: Take the Challenge

14. I’m not alone anymore.

In addition to having God on my side, I also have an eating disorder/disordered eating support group. I go to at least one meeting a week and it gives me a boost of energy, motivation, and clarity as to who I am and where I’m headed on this crazy journey.

15. Honesty trumps everything.

I have someone in my support group that I text my food to after every meal.

Every. Single. Meal.

I have found myself hesitating to admit that I ate food that isn’t healthy, or that I ate too much food during my meal. I have truthfully (so far) sent what I ate.

My food buddy never judges me and always has kind words and praise for my honesty.

I’m fighting back against my eating disorder by breaking the isolation, being honest and open about my food, and seeking help and support when needed. Texting my food to her also makes me think twice about bingeing or eating junk food because if I feel I’d be ashamed of the food I send her, I know it’s not right for my body.

16. It’s not a lack of willpower-I’m sick.

I always thought I lacked willpower and that everyone else was normal and could control themselves around food. I never knew that binge eating disorder was a thing until about 5 years ago when I was diagnosed.

I just figured I was a failure and always would be. I felt, for the majority of the time, like I was out of control, with feelings of self-disgust, guilt, depression, you name it.

Getting a diagnosis and learning that I’m not the only one who suffers from this was like winning the lottery!

Related: A Journey to Recovery from Binge Eating Disorder (My Story)

17. I’m learning to live in the present.

Not only am I learning to eat mindfully, but I’m also learning to live in the present.

It’s difficult to not focus on the past or the future, but when I am able to stay in the present? Wow, it’s unbelievable!

Just think about it, most of our problems are either in the past or in the future. We worry about stuff that’s already happened, and we can’t change, or on the flipside, we worry about what might happen, or what we think might happen. We have no control over what has already happened or what is for certain going to happen.

It’s all about giving up control. Living in the moment allows you to let go of your past and future worries, even if just for a moment. That’s giving up 2/3 of your worries right there! Who wouldn’t want that?

Related: Giving Up The Scale: One Small Step Toward Recovery

18. I’m lucky to have my eating disorder. (Yes, you read that correctly!)

No, I haven’t been sniffing glue- I really, truly am grateful to have this stupid eating disorder and I’ll tell you why…

I never would have gotten the privilege of learning every single one of these lessons on my own without working my butt off striving for recovery.

I may have been able to learn some, but certainly not all.

And that, my friend, is a miracle.

Related: What Is Your Reason For Recovery?

Final thoughts on lessons learned from my eating disorder

So, there you have it, 18 lessons learned from my eating disorder. These lessons are shaping me into a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, niece, cousin, and friend.

I expect to keep learning as I navigate my way through this illness into recovery, but for now, I’m grateful for each and every day.

Read Next:

• Eating Disorders: Everything You Need To Know
• The #1 Problem with Binge Eating Disorder
• The Incredible Benefits of Writing a Letter to Yourself
• My Eating Disorder Recovery Journey: A Year Later
• The 5 Best FREE Apps For Eating Disorder Recovery
• Why Do You Overeat?
• 19 Alternatives to Eating (When You’re Not Hungry But REALLY Want To Eat!)
• 11 Tips for Compulsive Overeaters